Family Law

Lawyers as Part of the Solution

As part of her day job, Sharon teaches people about the cycle of interpersonal violence, the four stages of relationship violence where: (1) tension builds (2) an incident happens, (3) there’s a beautiful, often euphoric honeymoon stage, followed by a period of calm, before the next tension builds leading to another incident, and (4) you’re back to square one. “It will be sunshine for a day or two, as long as you don’t let your light shine too bright, avoid asking too many questions, bite your tongue when you’re tempted to speak about something that bothers you, and then you’ll work your way through that same cycle again.”

Sharon found herself in a trainwreck of a relationship with “Jay” while in grad school as she interned at a women’s center in Minnesota and was surrounded by abundant resources. Rather than speak up and risk harming her ex’s reputation, she stayed quiet and gave up friendships to avoid making him jealous. When he got a job in the East Bay, she applied for one that she hoped not to get – ironically as an advocate in a Center for Women & Gender Equity – only to get the job. Jay promised things would be better. They weren’t. When Sharon had a sprawling bruise on her arm after being hit by a saucer Jay threw at her, she didn’t seek medical attention because she didn’t want to admit what happened or implicate her ex on the questionnaire where they’d ask if anyone was hurting her. She covered her bruises up, forced a smile and went to work. She remembers feeling the way a drug counselor might feel while helping clients reach sobriety while secretly using on the side. It took nearly two years to make it out of that relationship, but unlike the average of two women a week that are killed by their partners, she was one of the lucky ones.

“When I became a mother and recognized the southward spiral of dynamics between my children’s father and me, I knew I had to do the right thing for the sake of my kids – leave. It wasn’t a straightforward decision, nor was it a linear one. Not knowing where to turn, I swallowed all my pride and went to the Contra Costa Family Justice Center, a resource that I had shared with students and people in the community while never imagining it was for me,” said Sharon. Through the Family Justice Center, Sharon was able to hire a “low bono” attorney with the Lawyers for Family Justice program to fight against the abuse she had endured. She continues to help and inspire other people to stop the cycle of violence.

The Family Justice Center is an invaluable one-stop center for families affected by domestic violence, sexual assault, elder abuse, child abuse, and human trafficking. In 2024, the Family Justice Center served 4,963 survivors of interpersonal violence. The Center has four regional offices in Richmond, Concord, Antioch, and Fairfield. Legal assistance is the most highly sought-after service the Family Justice Center offers; however, it is a challenge to find pro bono and “low bono” legal assistance for clients within Contra Costa and Solano Counties. Thanks to the Contra Costa County Bar Association, the Lawyers for Family Justice program was established in 2016 with seven incubator attorneys. Recognizing the substantial need, Lawyers for Family Justice was created to fill the legal services gap for practice areas focusing on family, immigration, and civil law. Since 2016, the Lawyers for Family Justice program has developed into a robust legal program within the Family Justice Center including incubator attorneys, law school and undergraduate interns, restraining order training for volunteers, and three staff attorneys (by Fall 2024).

Over the past few years, the need for restraining order assistance has grown significantly. The Family Justice Center recognized this growing need and began working with legal interns from local law schools; 2L and 3L students were trained by licensed attorneys in how to fill out and file domestic violence restraining order requests and dedicated at least six internship hours a week to helping clients. Magdalena Kochanski – the center’s supervising attorney experienced in family law – provides mentorship and training for incubator attorneys and interns.

The need for restraining order assistance has only grown since the pandemic. Recognizing this need, Ms. Kochanski reached out to Diablo Valley College and, with support of a local adjunct professor, Michael Kasin, they created DVC’s first-ever restraining order course and clinic. Open to the community, the eight-week course trains students around the ins and outs of domestic violence restraining orders. In the last few weeks of the class, students assist Family Justice Center clients fill out and file their restraining order requests.

The Family Justice Center was also able to hire its first staff attorney, Emma Fuller. Ms. Fuller offers pro bono representation for family law and domestic violence cases. In Fall 2024, the Family Justice Center anticipates hiring two additional staff attorneys to help clients of the center.

Legal help is one of many services the center offers. The Family Justice Center works in partnership with over 70 on-site partner agencies to connect survivors of interpersonal violence to as many resources as possible within Contra Costa and Solano Counties. We are always looking for attorney volunteers, incubator lawyers for family justice, as well as students and interns willing to learn and help our clients. If you’re licensed in California and have not met your pro bono requirements or would like to learn about domestic violence restraining orders, please contact us.

For more information about the Family Justice Center, the Lawyers for Family Justice or to apply to the program, please visit www.cocofamilyjustice.org/lawyers. If you have been inspired by the work of the Family Justice Center, please consider attending our annual fundraising gala or donating at www.cocofamilyjustice.org.

The Family Justice Center serves families affected by domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, elder abuse and human trafficking. Find them online at www.cocofamilyjustice.org or call them in Richmond at (510) 974-7200; in Concord at (925) 521-6366; in Antioch at (925) 281-0970 or Solano at (707) 784-7635. Career and volunteer opportunities are available now!

Natalie Oleas and Sharon Sobotta

Natalie Oleas is the Central Center Director (Concord location) with the Contra Costa Family Justice Center. A California native, she has worked as a survivor advocate for over 15 years. She graduated from Northeastern University School of Law where her studies centered around victim advocacy, criminal procedure and civil rights. She is proud to be the coordinator for multiple county collaborative efforts to help prevent and reduce interpersonal violence within our community.

Sharon K. Sobotta is a writer, a journalist, an advocate, an educator, a mom and a doula. Sharon contributes to a number of outlets including East Bay Express, Lamorinda Weekly, KPFA, City Pages, the Rumpus and Civil Eats and serves as the director of the Center for Women & Gender Equity at Saint Mary’s College of California. Sharon believes in the transformative possibilities of stories in simultaneously touching minds and hearts. Because she believes that children like hers, who live in one-parent homes and have witnessed interpersonal violence, she is working on the middle grade book tentatively called, Hope is What We Do. To contribute to the project or learn more, visit http://spot.fund/v611ssp Sharon is available to speak, conduct educational, story sharing or writing workshops. She can be reached at sharonksobotta@gmail.com

The Family Justice Center serves families affected by domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, elder abuse and human trafficking.